What’s it like being clean & sober 18 months later?
The Earth is a strange place. You were inebriated on prescribed substances for nearly 15 years that imbalanced your brain chemicals and altered your perception of reality… And this is something that is a major issue in our country and the world… It’s like everyone is on something, but don’t want to admit an addiction to escape the pain from every day Life, because let’s face it, our world is FUCKED UP right now… …It’s like anything that comes with a warning label of “may increase thoughts of suicide and/or Death” is something that fucks with your perception of Life. Anything that is said to relieve anxieties or depression is something that alters your naturally driven mind – FACTS… Mind you, yes, we all know some people need them to survive, which I don’t fucking blame them with the state of the world, the state of human kind always blasting everyone on social media with their wrongs or rights, when nobody fucking knows, and then all of this bullshit division is created, all for those motherfucking likes… It’s like people want to prey on those they can’t stand and force them to a breaking point, making them go off the deep end, trying to deteriorate and shatter that other person’s world so that when they do end up taking their Life or committing a mass murder, the person//people who were antagonizing these people, can cry about their Death and then boast about how they knew it was going to happen… Yep, it’s the way of the social media era. Who sees it all the time? And the media feeds off of it and profits off of the story, because omgzzzzz nothing can oversell that, we must inform the public!!!!!!!! ….And they feed off this fucking war overseas….. Two men who clearly have ego problems are killing who knows how many innocent people in their path for power…. And then you have another egomaniac who “tests” missiles in our oceans for fun… HMMMM, could that be why we’re getting so many earthquakes and weird ocean stuff happening? And contributing to our sea Life dying off??? HMMM! Also makes you wonder about these bombs these fuckers are forcing their Military to set off to prove a point of power, and it’s funny these two men would NEVER fucking go on the frontline to fight themselves, but it makes you wonder if these chemicals that are being absorbed into our air are contributing to such turbulent weather patterns, the extremely violent hurricanes, and even more earthquakes and land related issues, as I mean c’mon…. These weapons are sending angry vibrations through our grounds…And everyone can cry out it’s an act of GOD!!!! OHHH IT’S AN ACT OF GOD!!!!!!!!! When ….in reality, it sure as fuck sounds like an act of Humankind. ….Something to think about…. And these fuckers in power reigns of their countries don’t care about the blood shed, the buildings destroyed, the PTSD and terror they inflict on their own Military fighting their petty power and greedy battles for them, or the PTSD on the families, or friends, or children who are watching this unfold… People LOVE to choose sides of who is in the wrong and who is in the right, however…. It’s all just causing unnecessary Death and trauma to those who are in the middle of this warpath. And it fucking makes you sick to hear about it….CONSTANTLY. ….But alas, that’s what the media seems to want, they want to show whatever causes the most views and clicks, whatever brings in the most revenue, right? That’s what you see in a clean//sober perspective….
And holyyyyyyyyyy fuuuuuuuck… It’s a bit weird to walk into the world with clean eyes and never know if someone’s a loose cannon or not. …Especially when it comes to the scarier street drugs that not only alter someone’s mind, but their appearance as well…And yep, alcohol as well…How many times do we walk into bars and see somebody go from 0-100 in 3 seconds and end up punching someone’s light’s out??? ….Or people threatening to kill after they’ve had that one drink that sends them over the edge…. Or, that one person who is in such a dark state of mind who gets upset at what one person says, and then goes home and takes their own Life…. Which, who knows, all of these people may have been sent over the edge from that and a combination of other prescriptions or other drugs in their system… Either way, it’s fucking scary. And people can HIDE addiction so well, while denying they even have one, that’s speaking from experience. Then you have the people who happily admit their problem and keep on with their addictions….
You walk around in stores, malls, stuff for everyday things… You see teens running around with their phones trying to take incriminating photos of their classmates through social media, trying to make them feel like shit because they are miserable inside too… Hey, who can blame them for the misery when you see parents sitting on benches handing their kids a fucking tablet to get them to stop crying??? While they sit and scroll through their social media pages taking parenting tests about why they are the greatest Mother or Father to feed their ego. ….It’s so Loveless, so fucking empty…
But hey, even grown adults try to take incriminating pictures, videos, and audio to use against someone else on social media….AHHH….Tis the way of the world… You wonder why there’s no sense of Trust anymore…..
Gotta put it out there, it is kinda ironic when you hear songs on the mainstream radio bragging about pills and drugs all the time, and ooop! When someone around them OD’s and DIES, they’re the first ones to cry…. Or when you hear songs clearly threatening murder, and then it happens….Someone gets shot and killed within the Music scene they’re a part of…Everyone wonders why…..It’s all so unnecessary.
Then there’s the division that the streets portray…. Can we all agree on this note…It doesn’t fucking matter who you associate with, we’re ALL going to be running for cover, running for our lives if these “leaders” of the world won’t settle their petty differences and stop fucking throwing bombs everywhere. Then what will it matter who you associate with and would kill for then??
AHHHHHH!!!! Fucking hell.
You also see people manipulating those who are vulnerable, who may be coming out of addiction, or depression, or running away, with mind control to do slave labor for them, or worse, sexual acts…And these people are protected by the companies or organizations they work for, or appear to work for….So nobody would ever believe the person they’re doing these horrific acts to…. And this happens to a lot, a lot of women, a lot of children..It does happen to men as well…These people go around telling you exactly what you want to hear to gain your Trust, they’ll psychologically use what you put online publicly against you, to get you to do whateverrrrrr they want for them while promising all of these amazing lies that sound too good to be true…. They’ll pull bait and switch techniques, flying you out, manipulating you to move there because ohhh it’s going to be so amazing!!!!!! …And then the moment they’ve got you in their trap, they flip a switch and now you have to do everything for them, degrading you every fucking day, trying to destroy who you are as a person…
If you’re ever on a train or at an airport, stay away from people who ask you 2000 questions, and try to promise you a high paying job right away or fame. You’d be surprised how good they are at making you believe shit. Be weary of who you meet online, you never fucking know what their true intentions are…. It can take a while in person to read somebody and their motives, but it’s a hell of a lot better than falling into a trap like that. ….Avoid the trap, listen to yourself, and open your eyes to the bullshit people can portray, the front people use…. Alas, most of the time these fuckers who are doing this are taking something, on some sort of substance too….And trying to get you hooked on their drugs as well…. And oh yeah, they’ll pay you alright, but it’s nothing to get you out of your situation….Especially when you’re isolated in the middle of nowhere…. It truly fucking happens…. And in other parts of the world especially [even though it does happen in the USA], the shit that happens is even worse than what we could ever imagine…. People get abducted in plain sight and are forced to be sex slaves, drugged, raped repeatedly day in and day out, starved, and then left for Death when they’re no longer of use to them….And a lot of times, people within power of whatever country they’re working for, protect these rings because they’re a part of it themselves… AHHHHHHHHH…………. THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LKA;FKJDHAUEGSHTFAUOWEGHTWEH;GBFKJAfklDSN;BVHGADUOFHGY9ERIOHEKJ;CFKLNHSABGFVJ;SKLANFCKJFBVKJN
Ok, this is getting quite dark…. Let’s move onto the good stuff though…..
The beauty about re-entering the world with a clear mind is that you can listen to Music truly…And it’s like experiencing some of your most favorite bands again, why you fell in Love with them in the first place when you were a kid. And there’s also so much amazing new Music out there to listen to from all over the world. It’s so incredible to listen to the Music and even chat with people on the other side of the world who create this Music…Connect with them….You truly feel the vibes of the beauty about what each country portrays…. And you realize, it doesn’t matter where anyone is at in the world, we all are going through something, and listening to those lyrics that are really deep, empowering, and Truthful, really resonate and help you get through Life as it is right now….
Doing Art in a clear state of mind…. It’s always so exciting to start with a blank piece of paper or canvas and then turn it into something colorful and beautiful.
Learning how to do new things… Whether it be doing something Musically, learning how to even read again, how to write again, how to be a Loving Human again, how to talk to people again, how to even scream again [which is fun when you go outside on a river trail and just let out some Death Metal screams]…. Learning how to Love the outside world when you know there’s shit going on, but enjoying the Sun, the river, or as of now, the cold breeze that hits your face when you walk outside… Cooking is fun too again… Cooking different things that you never tried before….
Enjoying cannabis in a clear state is amazing, so be it, it’s from a source you can Trust or straight from a dispensary….Now, there is a lot of debate whether or not cannabis is considered to make you clean//sober… Well, nobody has ever died from consuming weed, unless it was laced with something….When it helps you stop taking pills and drinking, and aids in meditation, opens your mind, and helps the depression fog….It’s a beautiful plant, one to be grateful for. It’s funny how there’s still so much controversy over it, yet people smoke it, they go on with their Life, enhancing Musical experiences, while there is a blind eye from people ODing and dying from prescriptions every day that can be considered as clean//sober too. It’s all subjective right?…. Fuck…. If you’ve gone from taking a half of bottle of pills every day, or injecting some sort of substance every day, or drinking to oblivion….To only smoking weed that’s not even an every day thing or it could be depending on the person, then hey, that’s a major fucking win.
Love,
Jenna
